Getting happy: A basic strategy - Evidence-based tactics for individuals

By: Tom Cloyd - 6 min. read (Published: 2024-12-21; reviewed: 2024-12-21:1149 Pacific Time)

Sunrise on a mountain meadow

Photo by Joel Holland on Unsplash

Research on promoting happiness in individuals is voluminous, but of variable quality. New standards in psychology research give us reason to be more confident in reported research results. We consider here tactics for becoming happier that are supported by research done using these new standards.

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Applying research findings in psychology to daily life has too often been problematic. One reason for this is that the basic procedure for proposing, going forward with, and reporting such research has not been rigorous enough. Some researchers have taken essentially to gaming the system1. Reforms have been instituted, and we can now summarize findings that have been reported using these reformed research procedures.

I summarize here the key ideas supported by recent quality research, adding specific ways to implement these ideas that have proven useful in my clinical practice and daily life.

First, get your priorities right

Gross problems in your situation and/or environment matter. Someone in a burning house shouldn’t be looking for flowers to arrange in a vase! If you are living with chronic pain, or domestic abuse, or experiencing triggered trauma memories, give these matters top priority.

Actively seek help, because it doesn’t often get delivered to you automatically. Focus on situational improvement, because one’s situation often strongly influences one’s mood. This includes your living environment, the people with whom you are in frequent contact, and the activities that take up most of your time. Small improvements can get big results, if only because they can foster hope for further change.

After that, focus on your state of mind and the things you can do that are detailed below which have been shown to often increase happiness. You can have confidence that are likely to work for you, all else being equal.

Let’s now look at both positive and negative factors relating to your happiness.

To increase your happiness do more of these things

Express gratitude

Realizing reasons you have to be grateful, and expressing gratitude, will increase your happiness.1

We all tend to take for granted many aspects of our life which in truth are not at all universal. This leads to a false sense of reality. Correct this false sense by comparing your situation to that of others.

Consider a homeless woman I recently found camped outside my door one morning, right next to the door of my neighbor, who was her grandmother. This is an immigrant family. They left their country for reasons I do not know, but we may assume that life was not good there else they would not have left. Immigrating brought with it a new set of problems - a new language, a foreign culture, and occupational challenges.

As this homeless woman and I talked, she told a disturbing story of domestic abuse, rejection by family, and more. She also spoke of addiction as a major factor leading to her situation.

Had I - or you - been born into her situation, we could well have been in her situation. Life circumstance is NOT simply a matter of choice, nor are our feelings about our situation. If your situation is more fortunate than that of this woman, pause and be grateful.

Consider sharing your thoughts about your good fortune in a letter to a family member. Whether you send it or not, writing it will deepen your sense of gratitude. Or write about this in a personal journal, if you keep one. Doing either of these things will change how you see yourself for the better.

Engage positively with other people

Our nature is social. For hundreds of thousands of years,Behaviors o our species has survived better than others by working together to maintain and improve our situation. Social engagement is one of our most fundamental tendencies. Our brain responds positively to constructive social engagements.12

Try these brief behaviors:

  • Call a relative or family member. Talk about anything at all that you may be thinking about, relative to them. I like to simply say “I was thinking of you just now. How are things with you?”, and then just listen. Many people do not get enough attention from others, and your attention will likely be welcome. In return, you will feel valued, because what you are doing IS valuable. Your state of mind will improve because of this.

  • Get to a nearby store or mall. Smile at a few strangers, and notice their reaction (they will most often smile back, and this feels great!). Find a stranger near you who you feel comfortable with and engage in brief small-talk. Ask them about something that has to do with them. They will like this, typically, and then appreciate you for your interest. You will feel better about yourself as a result.

Do what happy people do

Ask yourself: what do happy people look like? What do they do?

They smile more often - so try smiling more often. Look for things to smile about. (This is related to expressing gratitude!)

Happy people do things they enjoy - so seek out and engage in things that give you pleasure AND are constructive. (That last qualification rules out most if not all common addictive substances and behaviors!)

There is merit to the idea that one can “fake it ‘til you make it”.1

Increase the novelty in your life

Our brain loves what is new and novel, from birth on. Your mood can distinctly improve is something interesting gets your attention.2 So…

Momentarily step outside and walk around the block, looking for anything you’ve not seen before.

Pick up a random book or magazine, flip to a random page, and read the first thing you see. How does that relate to you present activity (this is a creativity exercise!)? I have done this many times, and often been much surprised by the random wisdom that I encounter.

Cut a square out of a piece of paper and walk around for 5 minutes using it to frame interesting images in your environment.

Finally, consider what you can do more generally to bring into your life more novelty. Make Friday night date night with your spouse? Make Saturday night movie night with your family - or yourself? Find ways to encounter new things.

Exercise your altruism - help others

Research has shown that giving to others makes us happier than giving to ourselves - be it attention, time, or material support.21

This can be very simple:

  • Stand by the door of a shop, and open the door for those who approach, for 10 minutes.
  • Think of some older person who might be having trouble getting groceries home from the store, and offer to help them the next time they need to go to store. Merely making the offer will make you both feel better.
  • Consider making a small monthly donation to an orphage in any country that you know has a lower standard of living than yours. It will mean a lot to them, and the good it will do you will be surprisingly long-lasting.
  • Look for and get involved with volunteer opportunities in your area. This is a proven way to improve one’s state of mind.

To increase your happiness do less of these things

Anything you don’t like doing

Again, this can be very simple:2

  • Don’t like washing dishes? Reduce their number to very few. Dirty dishes can’t pile up if you only have two of each! Or use paper plates to eliminate them entirely.
  • Don’t like waiting for the bus? Take a book to read while waiting, so that your time is invested in learning rather than spent in merely waiting.
  • When you can’t reduce the time you do something you don’t like, break it into small chunks of time, and follow each by doing something you DO like to do.

Replace social media and smartphone use with real human contact

The research supporting the idea that reduced social media contact improves mental health is rather limited, and not yet very conclusive2, but we’ll know more in the near future. We do know, as noted above, that increasing positive human contact will likely have a real benefit, however. You’ll have more time for that if you give less time to your technology!

Other ideas that are at least suggested by research

The newer, higher quality research from which the above ideas are drawn is still limited in volume and scope. Older research strongly suggests that exercise, adequate sleep, and exposure to nature and the outdoors is distinctly beneficial in promoting happiness. You should seriously consider better managing these factors in your life, and if they work for you, make them a habit.

Final thoughts

Happiness is often the result of multiple factors. When possible, engage more than one supportive factor, to get best results.

Take yourself seriously. Be purposeful and strategic. If you were planning a multi-day trip, you would likely think ahead, make lists, talk to knowledgable people, do some reading, and so on. Address your “happiness-project” with the same level of seriousness, to get the best results. If you want major results, make a major investment of your time and effort!

References ^

Folk, D., & Dunn, E. (2024). How Can People Become Happier? A Systematic Review of Preregistered Experiments. Annual Review of Psychology, 75(Volume 75, 2024), 467–493. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-022423-030818

Nesi, J. (2024-12-18). 7 things to add or subtract for happiness, according to science. Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/12/18/happiness-strategies-gratitude-social-connections/

Notes ^

  1. Folk, D., & Dunn, E., 2024. ^ ^2 ^3 ^4 ^5

  2. Nesi, J., 2024-12-18. ^ ^2 ^3 ^4 ^5

 

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